


Something Isn’t Right (The Meaning’s Thin)

by talesofsuspense



Series: Happy Steve Bingo 2019 [16]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Branching Timeline Theory, Depressed Steve Rogers, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Story in Art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsuspense/pseuds/talesofsuspense
Summary: I’m somewhere outside my life, babe. I keep scratching but somehow I can’t get in.(Scenes from Steve Rogers’ life since waking up to a very confusing world.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Steve Rogers
Series: Happy Steve Bingo 2019 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1482818
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10
Collections: Happy Steve Bingo 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For my Happy Steve Bingo square: “Motorcycles”
> 
> Title and summary are lyrics from Hozier’s “Sedated”.
> 
> In my branching timeline post-canon world, Steve starts a life with Peggy and Alternate Timeline Steve (AT!Steve) is rescued in the mid-90s because of difficulties locating the crash site (we can argue the probability of each universe being exactly the same if you want, but this is what I’ve decided). Bucky was rescued from HYDRA in the early 60s, so he spent approximately 14 years as the Winter Soldier, rather than 70+. As a result, he never killed Howard and Maria Stark. They don’t feature in this story though. Original Timeline Steve (OT!Steve) retakes up the Captain America mantle in this new timeline and is still Cap when they find AT!Steve. I think that’s about all the knowledge you need to understand this art.
> 
> Important note: Please do NOT leave any comments complaining about Steve’s actions in Endgame, or the movie in general; I do not have any bad feelings towards him and don’t want to read yours.

They give him a vintage motorcycle when he gets to their home. They tell him it’s for his “re-birthday” with cautious smiles on their faces. He looks Peggy in the eyes and then looks at the ground in front of the man that's himself but from another time, or another dimension, or something. He’s genuine when he thanks them, but his chest still feels hollow. All he can think of is how hates that the part of his hair is so similar to _his_.


	2. Chapter 2

He finds out Bucky is alive after a month. Something about not wanting to overwhelm him with information until he was settled. It doesn’t feel right that he didn’t have a say in that either, but nothing feels right anymore so he ignores it and grabs his keys off the rack, starting his bike up to drive over to Bucky’s. It’s a twenty-minute drive and most of it Steve spends with a stomach ache, worrying over whether Bucky will even be glad to see him. Bucky has lived decades without Steve, or at least with a different version of him. Apparently they’d rescued him from HYDRA at the beginning of the sixties.

If there’s one thing Steve is thankful to his other self for, it’s that. Bucky would probably still be there, being used as a weapon, while Steve lie uselessly in the ice if not for him. Steve shivers on the bike and pretends it’s because the air has gotten colder.

They don’t talk much for the first ten minutes Steve is there. It’s awkward, but that’s mostly his own fault. He doesn’t know what to say to people now. Everything has moved past him. He never expected the world to stop for him, but he never expected to make it out of the ice either. It ends up being Steve’s motorcycle that gets them talking. It turns out that Bucky has his own now, a few of them. He tells Steve that he understands what he means, about finding the feeling and sound of them comforting even though it probably shouldn’t be. Bucky’s memories are darker than Steve’s could ever be, though. Fourteen years as a HYDRA operative is beyond Steve’s imagination and it makes him feel a pang of guilt that he never looked for Bucky in any serious capacity. He lets Bucky show him his bikes and listens while he explains the differences between all of them. His favorite is Bucky’s oldest, the one he bought from a collector. It’s designed to mimic a World War II model, and it’s built with some of the original parts still intact.

“Do you think he’s me?” Steve asks suddenly when they’re sitting at Bucky’s kitchen table. “I mean, really me? I just- How can there be two of us? And I’m the real me, while he feels so different.”

“He’s lived two lives, Steve,” Bucky says. His tone is gentle but he sounds firm, like he’s not going to allow Steve to change his mind on this. “I’m sure thankful to the man. He’s as much you to me and you are sitting here right now. I think it feels different to you, because you’re you. You’re the same person, but in a way you’re right in thinking that he’s not really you.

“How could he be? Like I said, he’s lived two lives. He’s been through shit I can’t imagine and you can’t imagine. He’s built a life for himself here and whatever your feelings are on that are yours alone and I respect them, but he’s still my best friend too. To me you’re both Steve Rogers. You were both once the skinny kid I grew up with. You both were willing to sacrifice yourself for the world without a second thought. If there’s more than one person like that, then that damn sure isn’t a bad thing, is it?”

Steve scratches lightly at the wooden table in front of him, processing Bucky’s words. He knows Bucky is right — because when isn’t he — but thinking about all of it still makes his head hurt. He swallows against the lump in his throat and looks up, “Well as long as you want both of us.”

He leaves with a promise to not make himself a stranger and a hug that feels like it was waiting to be given to him for decades. He supposes it has been.

**Author's Note:**

> This _might_ be updated with more in the future, I haven’t decided for sure yet.
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated if you liked the art and/or snippets! If you’re interested you can find me on twitter @gaycaps!


End file.
